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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Work Stories

Think back to your very first job....don't a lot of memories and anecdotes come to mind? Well let's take a moment to share those. In particular.... the WORST scenarios. I'll share with you some of my funny stories, and you guys go ahead and leave comments with some of your doozies.

Isn't it funny? When you volunteer, people treat you really nicely. I used to volunteer at a museum selling ice cream, but I was pretty young and bad with counting back change without a calculator. Though people easily could have taken advantage of me, being alone and confused, everyone helped me out. Yet now, as a paid employee, people feel it's almost a right to treat me like a slave or something sub-human. Sort of ironic when you stop and think about it.

Anyway, here are some of my funny stories with customers I've encountered:

MUFFINS
One of my jobs was working at a Panera Bread. If you don't already know, Panera Bread is a fast food place that pretends it isn't fast food. They swear up and down they don't want to be treated like fast food, yet the one I worked at put in a drive-thru. Paneras serve bread, sandwiches, soups, salads, scones, coffee, and MUFFINS. Oh yes...muffins.
It was a busy lunch hour. I was working in the bakery and handling all of the bagels, scones, muffins, bear claws, and all that stuff. An older man approaches my register and says, "I'd like a pumpkin muffin." It was sort of loud, so I just wanted to double-check, so I double-checked with him. He starts raising his voice and declares. "No, I want a carrot muffin!"

Okay, I think to myself. I must have misheard him. Now, Panera has two types of carrot muffins. One is very much like a carrot cake, and the other is like carrot cake but without frosting. Earlier that week I had someone complain that the carrot cake muffins had too much frosting, and I wanted to make sure we avoided that issue again, so I tried to clarify the difference between the two muffins. Well, he wasn't having any of that.

"I want a carrot cake muffin!" He's starting to get angry with me so I just give up trying to clear up the frosting thing. I walk over to the bakery section. All of the products are behind a glass wall so customers can see all our products with all their calorie glory. I place a carrot cake muffin on a plate and hand it to the man. He pays and walks off to a table. About ten minutes later, he comes back.


"What is all this gobbly-gook!" he points an angry finger at the center of the muffin which has the frosting.


"That's the frosting, sir. That's what I was trying to tell you about."


"Well, I don't want it. All I want is a pumpkin muffin!" He's getting really angry at me now, but it's all I can do to not burst into laughter. I must confess, I probably was smiling like a goof when I tossed out the carrot muffin to swap it with a pumpkin. Oh, yes. Go ahead and be mad with me. I know I wasn't the one with the communication problems. Jesus....




DIP
This other job was when I worked at Portillo's. Portillo's is a Chicago restaurant that serves Chicago food. Well, all Chicago food minus gyros and deep-dish pizza. I was a cashier there, too, though we take orders via paper bag instead of computer. What happens is when someone orders, we use short-hand to write it on the bag. We send this bag down the line instead of using computers. I don't know why they do this. It probably just speeds things up because we get SLAMMED. All the time!! If you live by a Portillo's, you're probably nodding your heads now.
This sandwich has the juice on the side. This guy wanted his sandwich completely submerged and soaked in the juice. WITH MARINARA SAUCE. YUCK
Anyway, this guy comes up and I'm starting to take his order. He says to me, "I'd like an Italian beef with red sauce [marinara sauce], hot peppers, and can you dip it. Can you dip it. Can you dip it. Can you dip it. Can you dip it. Can you dip it. Can you dip it." I swear to god I thought his needle was stuck. I just stopped writing on the bag and looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. And he just KEPT....GOING.

Finally I said, "You want me to dip it?"

"Yes!" he said. "That last couple of times I was here, you guys didn't dip it all the way. I want it completely dipped."

Fine, no big deal. I told him I would go to the woman making the sandwiches myself and tell her to dip it completely. That seemed to make him happy and I sent him on his merry way. I did as I promised and told the woman that the guy was complaining his sandwich was never correct. I thought I heard the last from him after that, but about twenty minutes later, he cuts in line, holds up his sandwich, and shouts, "Way to go guys, you still didn't dip it right."

Hey, big guy.... I did MY part. You're yelling at the wrong person. Maybe if you stopped treating me like I'm an idiot....oh no wait. Nothing different would have happened if you would have treated me respectfully because it wasn't my fault! Well, he ended up getting the whole damn thing remade from him because some of his bread wasn't completely sopping and greasy. Congrats.


Work Stories - TBC
trust me, they're going to get a whole lot better ;)

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